“…a sweet aroma, an offering made by fire to the Lord. This shall be a continual burnt offering throughout your generations at the door of the tabernacle of meeting before the Lord, where I will meet you to speak with you. And there I will meet with the children of Israel, and the tabernacle shall be sanctified by My glory. I will dwell among the children of Israel and will be their God.”
Exodus 29:41-43, 45 NKJV
Tonight when I finally slowed down to write after one of those days, the Lord reminded me of something He spoke to me years ago and asked me to share it: your pain is a beautiful offering.
Years earlier I was kneeling at the altar during one of those Sunday morning, Shady Grove worship moments crying out about rejection from the hands of “Christians” about my past abuse, and as a result, thoughts like “you’ll never be good enough” combined with suicidal thoughts clamped down on a battered mind. I was trying to worship and said something in prayer like, “Lord! I have NOTHING! I will never be enough!!” When He responded with a whisper: “Give Me your pain. Your pain is a beautiful offering.”
Mind. Blown.
Prior to this encounter in worship, I thought worship was filled with just “good” stuff. There at the altar, He reframed what “offering” meant to me personally. He spoke to my heart that He wanted EVERYTHING. My brokenness, pain, rejection, anger, etc. He wanted every part of it – especially the ugly stuff.
When I read this passage again tonight I was struck with the reminder that my brokenness is like the burnt offering – a pleasing aroma to Him.
That moment at the altar reframed my view of brokenness. I believe the things that burn me – the brokenness past and present that sear my heart – are all part of Him purifying my heart to be more like Him.
More of Him. Less of me. No matter the cost. No matter how hot. I just want to be a pleasing aroma to Him.
Father – Give me grace and strength to trust you. You are good. You can be trusted and Your leadership in my life is perfect. Amen.
Daily reading: Exodus 28-29