“So Hannah arose after they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh…And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish…it happened, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli watched her mouth. Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” But Hannah answered and said, “No, my Lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. “Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now.” Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.””
I Samuel 1:9-10, 12-17 NKJV
Hannah is another woman in whom I find courage, encouragement, and strength. Hannah’s response to ridicule and mocking from a rival, to physical barrenness, and to deep soul grief is one I can learn from: she ate and drank then went the temple where she poured out her soul, emptying all of her bitterness and pain to G-d. She held nothing back.
Elkanah loved Hannah deeply and gave her a double portion. He saw her anguish and addressed her grief. He tried to help her. He did what he knew to do. But only One could truly comfort her – G-d.
First Hannah ate and drank – there’s wisdom in that. When I am depressed, the last thing I want to do is eat or go anywhere – but hiding is not the answer and maintaining physical strength by eating and drinking is necessary.
I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced her measure of pain or desperation but I can easily picture her because I’ve found myself at the altar, hands extended in desperation, mouth moving but saying nothing out-loud.
When I am miserable, fearful over provision, and fighting rejection, when I experience barrenness in spirit and deep grief, He extends an invitation to come to Him, and when I’ve poured out my complaint completely to Him, He says to me as Eli said to Hannah: “go in My peace.”
I’m reminded today that while Vance, my parents, or my friends could offer wise counsel about situations, the best and first audience for the deep bitterness, excruciating grief, and misery of my soul is an audience of One. He stands ready to carry the burden I bring Him and in exchange, He offers me His perfect peace.
Father – thank You for Your peace and for Your presence. Thank You that You welcome me as I am. Thank You for accepting me when others reject me. You are good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. Amen.
Daily Reading: I Samuel 1-3