“Now the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand, and the donkey turned aside out of the way and went into the field. So Balaam struck the donkey to turn her back onto the road….Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?”… Was I ever disposed to do this to you?” And he said, “No.” Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way with His drawn sword in His hand; and he bowed his head and fell flat on his face…. And Balaam said to the Angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know You stood in the way against me. Now therefore, if it displeases You, I will turn back.””
Numbers 22:23, 28, 30-31, 34 NKJV
Balaam’s donkey is a popular story in children’s churches. A talking donkey is funny imagery! Personally, it’s one of our favorites that we reference often to remind ourselves if G-d can use a donkey, He can certainly use us!
But as I was reading today, two different thoughts came to mind: what if the obstacle I’m facing, the thing that feels like a denial or a barrier, is really G-d’s mercy? And why was the Angel opposing Balaam?
Three times the Angel of the Lord stood in front of the donkey, sword drawn, as a barrier on the road. The first time the donkey responded by turning aside and was struck. The second time she pushed herself against a wall, crushing Balaam’s foot, and was struck again. Finally, with the path blocked completely, she just laid down under Balaam and was struck a third time. Then – G-d opened her mouth and she spoke – and Balaam’s eyes were opened to see the Angel opposing him because he had sinned.
In verse 20, there’s one small, easily missed word: “if”. G-d previously instructed Balaam to go and to say IF he was asked once again. Yet the space between “IF” and “WENT” didn’t exist. The space was a choice outside of the will of G-d. Balaam didn’t wait to see “IF”. He disregarded the conditional “if” and just went.
Each barrier was G-d’s mercy and protection. Each barrier moved Balaam and his donkey to a more narrow pathway – he found himself more and more restricted in his movement until he was forced to stop. The narrowing, the restriction, served a purpose. It was for Balaam’s protection: “And the Angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to stand against you, … If she had not turned aside from Me, surely I would also have killed you by now,””
Numbers 22:32-33 NKJV
I’ve found myself in the space between “IF” and “WENT” on more than one occasion. I hear His voice but my anxiety or motives drive me to act outside of His timing or will. The barriers I run up against just might be His mercy. The restrictions I feel might be His protection. The story of Balaam’s donkey is a good reminder for me to check my heart for motives or sin, to seek Him about the restrictions and barriers before me, and to submit to His loving hand and perfect timing.
Father – thank You for mercy. Forgive me for following my motives and not Your will. Help me to trust You more. You are good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. Amen.