“A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.”
Proverbs 29:11 NKJV
I have a confession. I used to be a fool. And at times I still am. In the past, it was my go-to response. I was angry and incredibly emotional. About almost everything. I had no “poker face” and was called out on it multiple times. I had no problem venting my feelings – my problem was holding them in. All that changed on November 28, 2018. It was the greatest gift the trauma that day gave me. I had no choice but to be silent – and in the silence, I found hope and healing. I am now a recovering fool.
Many psychologists agree that anger is a secondary emotion that is triggered by fear, hurt, or sadness. Interesting isn’t it? The thought that the person venting is really just broken sure puts an interesting spin on things.
When I began to understand the connection of the emotional cup to my words and actions, a shift happened. Somewhere deep inside me at the time was a stagnant pool of hurt, sadness, and fear that overflowed anytime I was “poked.” That’s how I see people now that give full vent to their feelings. They’re just stuck in the four “F’s”: fight, flight, fawn, or faint. They are scared. They are hurt. They are broken. And only One can help them.
Matthew Henry Commentary says, “it is a piece of weakness to be very open … it is a piece of wisdom to be upon the reserve.” Never has there been a more accurate instruction for today. In a world filled with opinions and rights, it is wisdom – for the most part – to hold my peace until both the right time and the right place:
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver.”
Proverbs 25:11 NKJV
To some I seem reserved now – but the truth is, I’m trying to walk in wisdom. His ways are higher than mine and they are always best.
Father – thank You for Your mercy and truth. Thank You for healing me physically and emotionally. I ask You to completely restore what was lost – and even if You do not, I trust You completely. You know best. The sound of my voice is a constant reminder to hold my peace. You are good and You keep doing good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. Amen.
Daily Reading: Proverbs 27-29
Marci Purtell
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