“Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: But when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life…The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul…”
Proverbs 13:12, 19 KJV
I have homework tonight that I’ve been putting off for a few days. It’s part of an 84 day discovery program I’m doing. Up until today (the program started Sunday), I’ve been telling myself it’s too hard – too much time involved – and I won’t succeed. I’ve prayed for G-d to make the way clear – to close the door if I’m not to walk through it.
Today in my quiet time, these two verses stood out to me. Immediately the feeling of what it is to accomplish something I’ve worked hard for overwhelmed me – like the day I took (and passed) my BEI Master – first try, hitting 500 workouts at 9Rounds, making 300 workouts at Pure Barre, walking the stage for my Masters degree, the first time I saw my ghost writing in print, being a spiritual midwife to NB, seeing Tobias be born, holding my kids, finally marrying Vance after numerous obstacles – and so many more. These moments in time that I worked towards, prayed for, pressed for, planned for. Moments in time that I can point to that a hope was fulfilled and a desire accomplished. Moments that are “trees of life” in my journey.
The journey isn’t always filled with joy. The space between the “trees” is often long, lonely dry, barren, and at times, excruciatingly hard and filled with grief.
But without a tree in the distance, without land marks on the horizon, I’m destined to wander and lose my way. Without hope, there’s no reason to pick myself up off of the proverbial floor and keep moving forward. If I want change, I have to take the first step of faith toward the tree I see in the distance. It will take me 80 something days to get there but I know – because I’ve been there before – the desire accomplished will be sweet to my soul.
Here goes nothing.
Father – I believe this is the path You prepared for me to walk for the next 12 weeks. Help me to make the most of the journey. Give me grace and strength to accomplish that before me. Teach me what I need to learn in this season. Keep my eyes on You alone. You are good and You keep doing good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. Amen.
Daily Reading: Proverbs 13-15
June 7, 2022