“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.”
Psalms 56:3 NKJV
One verse. One simple solution to being afraid: trust.
Trust is such an obscure concept. You can’t measure it tangibly but you certainly know when you have it and when you don’t. Trust is often described like a bank account – actions and words either make deposits or withdrawals of trust. Warren Buffett says trust is like the air – we don’t notice when it’s present but we do when it’s absent. Kevin Plank writes that trust is earned in drops and lost in buckets. Trust between people is a fickle and fragile thing.
Much is written on the psychology of trust – how you earn it, the stages of it, and how you lose it. Erikson’s seven stages of psychosocial development all hinge on “trust” that is developed between birth to 18 months old centered around the basic need of hunger – when I’m hungry, am I fed? Does someone respond when I cry and comfort me? Are my basic needs met? Though an infant cannot verbalize these questions, the action of feeding and caring for the child establishes a neuropathway in the brain for all other stages of development, and when trust is established, the basic virtue of hope is birthed.
But over time, age, life, and experiences often jade us. People don’t keep their word to us and leave us disappointed. People may deceive us, intentionally or unintentionally, and trust falters, killing the relationship. Throughout time, our trust can wane – and when trust wanes, hope falters.
Erikson’s theory says that our personality is forged in a predetermined order through the psychosocial crisis faced at each stage from birth to 65. But all of it starts with trust – it is the most basic need.
A need is expressed.
A need is met.
Trust is built, hope is birthed.
A need is expressed.
A need is ignored.
Mistrust is build, hope erodes.
The Psalms today read like a journal of David’s thoughts, prayers, and inner struggles as he faced an enormous crisis – the threat of death. We can watch his crisis unfold in I Samuel from being chosen and anointed, to killing Goliath, to living with a king, to acting like a mad man to hiding in a cave. His soul must gave been in despair – he was deceived and lied about. He lost his position and closest friend and was escaping for his life – he was afraid, hope must have waned-
Yet, he chose trust.
While I agree with the theory of Erikson’s Stages and that trust is foundational and while I’ve personally experienced how easy it is to both earn trust and lose it, lately I’ve wondered if trust could be a choice.
Too often I’ve based trust on my feelings, but the reality is, my feelings are deceptive. And in my faith walk, too often I ascribed to G-d the same theory I’ve ascribed to people around me that says “you have to earn my trust before I’ll give it.”
At work recently, I’ve been intentional about saying to my team: “You are tested and trusted leaders. I trust you. Period.” Over and over I say it and as they’ve started to believe it, it’s like watching a bird come out of a cage for the first time – they look bewildered and beautiful, full of joy and excitement, full of hope.
In my faith journey, I’ve taken to intentionally saying every day: You are good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. It’s intentional on my part – telling G-d out loud that I trust Him, saying it so my my spirit and soul GET it and can be freed from the cage of fear, doubt, disappointment, and disillusionment that tries to surround and suffocate me.
Trust breeds hope, and when I choose to trust Him, I am choosing hope, hope that sustains me in the dark days and lightens my countenance with joy. And, when I am at peace, trusting in Him, it’s funny how much easier it is to choose to trust those in my circle.
He is good. His leadership is perfect. And He alone is the only One worthy of trust – not because I “feel” like it or I don’t – but because He is the One True G-d and in Him alone I place my trust.
Father – thank You for Your grace that sustains and Your Word that convicts. Thank You for a man like David and including His stories. I love You. You are good to me. You lead me well. I trust You fully. Amen.
Daily Reading: Psalms 56, 120, 140-142