“But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and hugged his neck and kissed him, and they wept [for joy].”
Genesis 33:4 AMP
Esau was bitter (Genesis 27:34), he hated his brother, and he threatened to kill him (Genesis 27:41). Then Jacob escaped. They were apart 20 years and when Jacob returned, Esau forgave him – completely.
I’ve been pondering what must have happened in Esau’s heart to move him from hate to forgiveness. What was it that led Esau to run, embrace, kiss Jacob , and weep for joy? It wasn’t the lavish gifts Jacob sent – so what was it?
We know Jacob’s story but not Esau – the one I’m so curious about.
First – Esau was blessed of G-d. When Jacob offered his lavish gifts, Esau first refused them stating he had enough (Genesis 33:9). Could it be that Esau was more focused on his present blessings that the past deceit?
Second – Esau responded. When Jacob took the first step (Genesis 32:1-6) and sent a messenger ahead to ask for “ḥēn” – a Hebrew word that means grace – Esau responded immediately and headed to meet his brother. Could it be that Esau had already forgiven Jacob?
Esau’s actions – embracing Jacob, kissing him, and weeping over him – are all actions that spoke of complete acceptance and forgiveness in that time. Something radical happened in Esau’s heart to bring him to the point of being able to completely forgive Jacob long before Jacob headed home.
How many times have I thought I’ve forgiven someone for deep pain they caused me only to SEE them and realize I’m still holding onto a wound, a hurt, or an offense? Too numerous to count.
Esau stood ready to forgive. Jacob moved towards him and asked for grace. Esau responded with forgiveness.
The reality is reconciliation would not have happened without both people. Esau was ready to forgive – but if Jacob hadn’t gone home, they would have never reconciled.
Whether we find ourselves in Esau’s shoes or in Jacob’s, we each play a part in reconciliation and healing of relationships.
Be like Esau. Deal with hurts, lay down offense, and stand ready.
Be like Jacob. Ask for grace and offer restitution.
Then come together – meet in the middle – let go of the pain and the past, embrace and accept one another completely, and experience the joy of true forgiveness.
Father – You know my heart’s deep desire for reconciliation and healing. Help me to find peace like Esau and stand ready to forgive. Give me courage to ask for grace where it’s needed and offer restitution. Heal our hearts and restore the years the locusts have eaten. Amen.
Today’s reading: Genesis 32-34