A pastor/prophet/intercessor by the name of Lou Engle spoke once at Shady Grove Church. He said the church was full of abortion mentality. Abortion mentality says kids are inconvenient – give up my Sunday service to watch the nursery? I can’t be bothered. Change diapers and wipe noses? That’s messy- no thank you. He said we would see a church in revival when we see children embraced – not by mere words but by actions. When we had to turn away nursery workers, we would know God had our hearts. His words convicted me – abortion mentality is rampant. 

Maybe I never had an abortion but how many times have I “felt” inconvenienced by what my kids wanted/needed/asked of me? Too often to admit. And while yes, I could excuse it to say “I’m just human…that’s normal…” the reality is, when I give into those selfish, fleshly leanings, I am embracing an abortion mentality. I would venture to say a woman doesn’t wake up one day and randomly decide to have an abortion. It’s a decision that is labored over, the pro’s and con’s weighed carefully – con’s like this is not a convenient time, I don’t have the time/money/space/insert reason here, this isn’t really a ‘baby,’ and so on, and by the time a woman comes to that decision, I imagine it was not an easy one.

If you are a believer like me, it may be easy in our situations to say or think, “I would never do something like that…I would never abort my baby,” when the reality is many of us have an‘abortion mentality’ towards life and relationships. Lou Engle asked that day – are you truly pro-life, or are you just pro-save-the-baby-from-death-and-not-think-of-them-beyond-birth?

To be truly pro-life, we must embrace all life and all stages of life from the womb to the tomb and we our actions, thoughts, and words should also be life giving and life affirming.  

As a wife and mom embracing a pro-life from the womb to the tomb mentality means prioritzing my marriage and children, being intentional about choices to strenghten those relationships, listening – really listening – when they have something to say. As a full time working mom that has recently struggled with deep depression and is an introvert to the core, too often I have given into the temptation to hide in my room with a book or Hallmark movie to recharge. Before I know it, a few hours have passed and I’ve lost precious time with my children. I’ve even commented over the last year that I’ve noticed things have changed ever so subtly with them and when I was praying about it one day, conviction came quick. I wasn’t valuing their life – womb to tomb. I was on autopilot – just letting life happen – and not embracing it as the miracle it is. It was that my kids had changed or started “pulling away like teens do,” it was because I wasn’t valuing them and they felt it. I was aborting our relationship one choice at a time. 

I am not advocating being on “24/7” or saying we can never have “me” time. 

Self-care is CRITICAL to being a good wife and mom. For me, self-care looks like going to visit my 9Round Hurst TX Gym family 4-5 times a week and punching the poop out of Round 8. It looks like taking a few minutes to recharge by reading, writing, or watching a Hallmark movie. It means I have to prioritize my prayer and devotional life. It is weekly Shabbat with my family and corporate worship on Sunday. Those things “fill my tank” and take care of me. 

What I am suggesting – at least for me – is that I have to check my heart about my attitude towards my kids, husband, and key relationships. Am I putting a priority on them? Do I really value them? Or, are they inconvenient, messy, something I just don’t want to mess with.

When I applied Lou Engle’s “pro LIFE” test, I didn’t do very well. I found my heart lacking. I found sin residing. I found complacency had settled.

In my job, I am a supervisor of many and I also train leaders. We talk often about having a personal mission statement. One of mine is simply this: I want to leave people better than I found them. My story about work is that I am a better wife, mother, person, friend, and leader because of the leaders there that have invested in me. I want that to be the story of my life – someone is better because of me. Investing in others to this extent means that you have to value them and be intentional about words and actions. And for my family – for Randal, for Alathia, for Vance – I was convicted that I do not always place the value on them that I am called to. 

Pro-life is a series of daily choices to love and to place value on another person. 

Life – every single life – is valuable because every single life has been created by the God of the Universe! God knit each person together in their mother’s womb (Psalms 139) and God opens and closes the womb (Isaiah 66, I Samuel 1 – Hannah, Genesis 21 – Sarah). God knows the beginning and the end of our days. 

If I think back to the challenge of Lou’s message – that we would see a church in revival when we see children embraced – not by mere words but by actions – I am convicted and encouraged. If we want to see revival in our churches and communities and homes, it has to start with me. I can start a revolution by how I love and how I value life. 

Pro-Life is Pro-love. 

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son for you and for me, for our kids, for our neighbors, for the homeless man on the street, for the orphaned child, for the rich, for the poor, for the broken, and the list goes on. 

He created the person you are struggling to love and He sent His Son to die for them so they could have a chance at eternal life. 

For God so loved … therefore I will love.

I am Pro-Life from the womb to the tomb and for the space in between.