““But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you….But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”
Luke 6:27-28, 35-36 NKJV
Love- agapaō – love and care for in a moral sense – your enemies – echthros –those who oppose or are hostile towards you.
This is a hard read today. Oh, it sounds simple and pretty as I read it, but if I’m honest, the application can be a challenge at times. Personally, I find it easier to be kind and loving to someone who opposes me openly than the one who opposes me in a passive aggressive manner. With open opposition, I know exactly where I stand. But when the opposition is passive aggressive and you’re being gaslit, it’s hard to show love.
But Yeshua is clear – love, in a moral sense, and do good to those who oppose you. A wound was made deep in my heart and mind over twenty years ago when I was opposed by a Christian family because of my past. From their perspective, I was deemed unworthy of a relationship because of my past before I accepted Yeshua as my Savior – I was divorced, had been sexually and physically abused, and was deeply broken – and as a result of their words and actions, it felt like I wore a scarlet letter in their eyes. I’ve spent many years since then trying to earn their love and prove myself worthy. It’s exhausting. And disheartening. Especially when I’ve seen love and acceptance poured out on people who have done far worse.
I finally reached a breaking point this year over the entire situation, and I decided to stop trying. I had carried the relationship for years and it had become quite painful so I stopped texting, stopped calling, and just stopped trying. It may sound petty but I saw it as a necessary and overdue boundary. I could no longer continue giving and trying only to be faced with continued opposition.
Because here’s the thing – I’m not the same person any more; therefore I should not be judged by my past – and neither should you. First, my divorce is under the blood of Yeshua- completely forgiven. Second, the abuse was beyond my control – I was a victim. Third, I’m a new creation. Period.
I know who I am now: worthy of love and acceptance, a leader, good at what I do, gifted in language, chosen, and a mentor.
So, where do I go from here and how can I love my enemies – the ones who still oppose me today? Well. I wish I had an easy answer but I don’t. I’m learning and it’s the journey I’ve been on for the past 7 months. I have good and bad days. But here’s what I’m trying if it helps you. I am cordial and respectful when we interact. I pray for them and for restoration, knowing that only He can heal what’s broken. And, here’s where I struggle most, I (try to) guard my thoughts about them.
This blog is one of the most transparent and personal ones I’ve ever written. I don’t want pity, and I don’t want criticism for those who have judged and opposed me. (I would however appreciate prayers as G-d leads.) I offer these words which have been unspoken for years in hopes that those who walk a similar path as mine find comfort and empathy.
I have a tribe now who loves me and while I deeply desire for those who have opposed me to do the same, I’ve stopped trying so hard. Instead, I will learn to love them as they desire to be loved.
Father – thank You for Your truth and conviction. Heal as only You can. You are good and You keep doing good. Your leadership in my life is perfect and You can be trusted. Amen.
Daily Reading: Matthew 12:1-21, Mark 3, Luke 6
October 9, 2022